Curate Your Focus

The first thing I learned ages ago in driver training is that you will steer where you focus.  You need to keep your eye on the road and where you want to turn next.  If you look too long toward the other lane, you will end up in it. This is true about our thoughts, and how we often allow them to shift our focus.

While it may not always seem like it, we are in control of our thoughts, even if that sometimes takes an incredible amount of work.

There are quite a lot of things to be anxious and angry about in the world right now.  And all of them are important things to be aware of, and to also stand up against.  But, I want to remind you that they are not things you have to think about every waking moment, and they are not things that you should allow to affect your over all health and wellbeing.

Social media is a beast right now, feeding our minds with what feels like constant worry.  And, I want to present a crazy idea to all of you.

When being aware of the news and current events, it is possible to do this in ways that are not associated with algorithms.  For example, watching the news on an actual tv, or reading a newspaper where the content is vetted by valid sources, won’t cause your social media news feed to be full of frustrating and anxiety inducing posts.  You can actually be in control of what you see on your social media feed.  You can choose not to follow accounts that cause you anxiety, and you can choose to not interact with posts that cause you stress. You can snooze friends. If you don’t click on posts that trigger your anxiety, if you keep scrolling when they show up, or if you don’t read the comments or leave any of your own, your feed will be less likely to have content in it that can cause you negative feelings.

You can instead choose to follow accounts that share good news, or things that inspire or calm you.  Right now I am painfully aware of what is going on south of the Canadian border, and beyond, but my social media feed is filled with suggestions of beautiful places to travel, good news stories from wildlife conservation non-profits, and beautiful art from around the world.

If you really feel like you need to engage in politics and social justice on social media I want to encourage you to understand why and to understand what control you have by interacting with posts you don’t agree with.

We can all be good, kind humans who are socially aware but I don’t think we need to be flooded by bad news stories we have little control over as much as we tend to allow. Our anxieties, fears, and cortisol levels are heightened enough as it is! We can make a difference, but it doesn’t have to be at the cost of our mental health.

So, with this post I am presenting a challenge I hope some of you will complete, in part or in full.

·       Watch your news on platforms that allow you to be informed by valid, researched and accurate content. Consider watching off the internet.

·       Watch only one or two times a day, and engage only if it feels like you will gain more than you lose by doing so

·       Be clear on your values and why something fires you up.  Be really clear.  A good place to start is at Values Institute and/or with the book Start with Values by Bradley Hook. Truly know what you are fighting for, and if it is your opinion, or the opinion of someone else’s which may have influenced you. Additionally, if you have been influenced to gain an insight that is helpful and will inspire positive change, thank the person who helped you gain that insight.

And now, for an additional challenge. Let us all attempt to counteract the heaviness, sadness and frustration in a way that is within our control. We are all feeling the negative energy not only in the form of some of the hate we are all witnessing, but the negative energy that is a result, in the form of anxiety in our friends and neighbors.

The challenge:  Get out a piece of paper or a note card and think of at least 2 people who you admire, miss or appreciate, and write them a note. A simple: “I was thinking about you today and though you might like to get some fun, happy mail” is really all that needs to be said, but elaborating will fill your heart and theirs. It will remind you of the good people in your life, and in this world. Put it in an envelope, address it and drop it at the post office.  Bonus points if on your way to the post office you take a minute to breath in some fresh air and notice how beautiful the sky is.  Extra bonus points if you commit to sending 2 more notes the following week.

If you do this, I would love to hear about it – you can reach out to me here through liftinganchor.ca, or, tag me in your Instagram stories at @liftinganchor.

CLICK HERE if you found this post helpful, and would like to support and encourage my writing by buying me a coffee :)