Slowing Down

I recently saw a reel on Instagram that read: Kiss the things that slow you down.

One of my biggest takeaways from my visit to Kenya this year related directly to that concept.

A few lessons stand out for me, and one was from my time spent in traffic.  During my previous trip I was in traffic for only a very short time, in a bus with an obstructed view of my surroundings, mainly on drives between the hotel and airport.

This year, I was in a car for  a total of 24 hours or so during my 2-week stay (not including the safari rides). This included about 4 hours of driving within Nairobi, a 12-hour drive which was actually supposed to have been 8 between Amboseli and Maasia Mara, and a 4 hour drive twice between Nairobi and Ol Pajeta then back to Nairobi.

The traffic at many times during these commutes was congested to say the least. During a delay due to a traffic accident ahead I remember being in four lanes of traffic, on a two-lane road.  Cars in the way? Simply create an additional lane on the shoulder of the road to get further ahead.  And the thing about that is, it was done with such calm in the chaotic state of the traffic, and not a single person begrudged another for trying to push through.  In fact, they just let each other in as though it was an invisible roundabout.  At one point there were cars facing us from all directions. As a bus load of people drove beside us, a woman in the bus window with a child on her lap and people packed around her like sardines in the seats surrounding her, waved at me, and her child was smiling and waving at me too.  I think anyone reading this in Nova Scotia knows that things would have played out quite differently here.

Returning home and feeling rushed through traffic with people tailgating me, or whipping ahead of me on the highway in a state of anger, has been a very hard adjustment.

Recently I drove to Truro to visit my sister, which is an hour and 15 minutes drive on a good day. It was snowing and there were some very wintery sections of road that were not actually safe to be driving on.  I passed at least 4 accidents where people had ended up in the ditch.  At one time I would have not even been able to make that drive.  I would have been too afraid. But this time… this time I drove with no fear or anxiety, slowly and not caring if anyone was in a hurry around me or not. In the midst of the chaotic roads, I drove without music and enjoyed the quiet and had a very calm, dare I say, relaxing drive. Calm exists in our mindset towards it. When I arrived, my sister’s neighbors asked me how my drive was because the roads were so bad, and I know they speculated my sanity when I replied with calmness that I had a great drive.

Because it is winter now, things in Nova Scotia take longer. That is just the fact of winter. As my sister and I were making our way to an outing during my visit we had to wait for the ice on the windshield wipers to defrost before we could drive.  This could have been a highly annoying inconvenience, but instead I asked her sit in silence with me and watch the snowflakes falling on the window as they thawed. I appreciated the moment as a time to breath and regulate my nervous system. It was a forced slow-down, and there are a lot of those this time of year. We need them. And we need to take a minute to recognize them as a gift.

I spent a lot of my safari rides in a rushed state, while attempting to see a specific animal during this recent trip. I remember one particular safari where all I really wanted to do was drive slowly through the park and watch the gazelles flick their tails, or the zebras graze on grass.  But I was part of a group and one of the members from the US, had a dead-set focus on photographing male lions. I remembering racing through the park with the dust filling the air and the jeep. So much so that I had to cover my face to protect my nose and eyes and was unable to even see the beautiful landscape around me. I remember feeling not like I was chasing a lion, but as though I was being chased.  Chased by the high-strung energy of getting a specific photo.  If you know me, and have followed some of my photography over the years, you will know that I allow the photos to find me, and I don’t chase anything to find them.  So, this was my next lesson of the trip which was to remember to embrace the things that come your way naturally.  Slowly.

My third lesson is happening as I type this.

After the busiest summer and fall I remember, which lead directly into my planned return to Kenya in November, I admit defeat and realize I completely burnt myself out. Which, is one of the reasons I’ve not written in a long time (thanks to those of you who reminded me of that).

While I was in Kenya, I was bitten by an insect on what I expect was the last day I was there. A day I carelessly walked in the grass in flip flops. Since then, I have been forced to slow down because one of the bites got infected, and as I write this, 5 weeks following my return, I am still fighting the infection and trying to find the best course of action through medical advice and doctor’s visit, prescriptions, and also blood tests.

In my slowing down I have been able to reflect on the amount of work I did over the summer and fall, and recognize that it has not been beneficial to my health, or my spirit. I wore myself out and my health suffered, which I believe is hindering my ability to heal quickly.

This is a post to remind myself, and those of you who are reading, that each moment we rush through is our life. When we rush the day, the tasks, the experiences, even the commutes in traffic, we are rushing away the minutes that are our lives. Minutes we won’t get back. And while you may think that life is short and we should try to fit in as much as we can in every moment, or force ourselves to accomplish more, the thing I am asking myself is – for what though?  That very question will be what I reflect on as the new year approaches. I am left reminding myself that life is not about getting to a finish line it is about experiencing the things that come our way. It is about the sound of the birds in the morning and how the sky looks at the end of the day.  It is about taking a few deep breaths and watching snowflakes fall on the windshield with your sister.  And, with each passing year this becomes more and more important to recognize.

What is something that slows you down that you can find appreciation in?  What is something that you want to savour instead of rushing through?

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