Anchor Lifted
I have been home from Kenya for only three and a half weeks and it feels like a lifetime ago that I was in the hot sun. I didn’t have a chance to reflect or write while I was there so I am doing a quick update here now. But, I have lots of posts and stories to come on this platform in the coming months!
I want to quickly share some of the highlights of my trip, and will elaborate on some of these points later.
For starters, I am really sad to be home, and I am very likely going to return to Kenya next year. I don’t feel like I am done learning about the animals, country, people of Kenya, or about myself with the trip as an amplifier of self awareness and reflection. Going one time is not enough, and I did not anticipate that!
I could have never imagined how comfortable and at ease I would be for the entirety of my time in Kenya. Even on the busy chaotic streets of Nairobi or inches away from a wild lion.
My brain runs at a few hundred miles an hour much of the time. I am always thinking about a project I want to be working on, or working out the time I will need to accomplish the long to-do lists I create for myself. I very rarely ever feel relaxed. But holy – when there is a herd of 30 or so elephants in your sight line, you cannot think about anything but those elephants and be in awe of your surroundings! And, for the first time in I can’t remember how long, if ever, I got out of my head on this trip. One of the take-aways I have from this adventure is to reflect on just that, and consider ways I can relax here in Nova Scotia. And, consider why it is that I don't relax.
Below I will share my very top trip highlights, before I write more posts in the coming months:
One night my jeep was the only one at a sighting of a lion for at least an hour and a half, maybe more and we watched the lion in silence only a few feet from us. I could hear the wind and the lion breathing simultaneously and as we were leaving the skies turned dramatic and beautiful and it rained to cool us off after a hot day in the sun. It truly was something dreams are made of.
I spent some of the trip feeling so different in the way I need to process information and my surroundings. As a highly reflective person who is ultimately an introvert at heart, I felt overstimulated by the conversations around me fairly often. One night I stayed behind and ended up talking with someone who felt the same way. Someone who was reading a self-help book that my therapist had recommended to me multiple times. A book about complex post traumatic stress disorder, which I apparently can’t escape half way across the world, and purchased when I returned home. I have some things to write about this later, particularly around being open and vulnerable in conversations even with strangers because that is how we feel less alone and find a path to our true selves, and to healing.
The night I had a spider in my tent is something I consider a highlight. I got the nerve to kill the spider and later, even though it was dead and in two pieces, it was gone a couple of hours later. So, something ate it, and I don’t know what. And, even though I didn’t have a very restful sleep that night, I am pretty proud of myself for handling the situation with what I would consider bravery. When I returned home a spider in my basement didn’t faze me after being in a tent with one that was potentially poisonous, and possibly one that was big enough to eat the one I killed.
When I returned a good friend of mine asked me what I am afraid of now. I couldn’t think of anything right away, and I am still reflecting on my answer. There is a list of things of course, but I am taking some time to consider the difference between fear, and simple uncomfortableness; and why we feel that way as humans. So, stay tuned if you want to hear what I come up with.
Thanks for following along up until now, and I hope you will stick around for the “lifted anchor” stories to come!
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